Tuesday, January 24, 2012

the light bulb moment

It's been a couple of years since I've worked with Evolutionary Witchcraft in my personal studies. Without grabbing the book for precise verification, the exercise of sitting as a daily practice is mentioned early on. For a few months, I would tumble out of bed, stumble down stairs to a make shift altar in the sun room and sit. It was explained in Evo Wit that in doing this practice, one comes to understand the Self. And I didn't get it. First off, I always felt I had to stop thinking, but that couldn't be stopped because one of my many thoughts was, How the hell do I get to understand my Self when Monkey Mind is going on and on about the litter box, the dishes, the laundry, the e-mails that need tending, who's coming home when and shouldn't I be painting? Yes, this went on for a few months. Understanding let alone enlightenment seemed woefully elusive.

In that time between then and now, I've stopped meditating or tried something different (like, maybe I need to do mantras) or tried a different time to meditate (sitting before bed time worked really well). But I still didn't get it. Especially that bit about sitting long enough to see What Comes Up. Generally, all that ever came up was the chittering of Monkey Mind. Over time, I managed to let go of the cat herding activity of not to thinking by simply letting the thoughts go and returning my attention to breath. Sitting is simple, but not easy. I resigned myself to not understanding it, set aside Big Head Know It All and just sat.

Finally today, I got around to checking out Susan Piver's latest e-mail and vimeo about Meditation and the Path of Emotion. Funny thing. I finally got it.

And there's still dishes to do.

No comments: