Thursday, November 10, 2011

practice

Oh frabjous day, caloo calay! I practiced yoga today! It is a wonderful thing to keep a small promise to one's Self. It's been read in a variety of places at different times how follow-through on a promise, personal or otherwise, creates integrity. I said what I wanted to do and did it. Then next time I'll be better able to believe myself. Well. Of course, it doesn't always work that way, but when it does it's nice bask in the glow.

Once up from Savasana, I felt like the rest of the day was a breeze. I felt centered and embodied. Conversations went smoothly enough. Again. It doesn't always work that way.

What is tomorrow's promise to myself: to spend time painting. And that's it. How hard can it be? It's easy to get sidetracked. I see the pile of dishes/laundry/paperwork and find myself putting off my personal promise. Why isn't my promise important? It doesn't feed the masses here. It doesn't pay the bills. Heck, it doesn't even do windows! However, keeping this ONE promise to my Self means I've gained some self respect and personal integrity. I believe myself when I follow through. Breaking vows to our Selves is really the first sin. (And I don't have much truck with the belief of sins.) How can I trust myself if I don't do what I said I'd do?

Just like wrapping one's legs in Padmasana, the perfect execution of a pose doesn't happen on the first try. It takes practice. A foundational practice that occurs often. One the mind recognizes as a necessity that can't be put off. I might be short changing myself by only spending 15 minutes at the easel tomorrow, but at the very least, I've kept to my plan. Practicing allows for falling short. Practicing allows for mistakes ~ which are often the best teachers. Practicing means I've done something instead of making excuses.

So. In another hour or so, I'll practice meditation of the shamatha sort ~ sitting and abiding. Even if only for 10 minutes. I won't expect perfection. That's one of those other sins.

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