Sunday, May 28, 2006

10 Reasons Why I Need a Digital Camera Real Soon

1) Blogs are pointless ramblings without pictures.
2) The children are growing at a rapid rate.
3) I can’t ‘draw’ Fair Isle anything in Photoshop without having the results look like my computer was possessed by Jackson Pollock ~ which I suppose wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the chain smoking and incessant drinking. And then there's the all-night parties . . .
4) I can’t compile a photographic journal of Smudge’s gestational period followed by the subsequent and certain birth of bunnies. Lesson learned: don’t talk on the phone with your mother leaving rabbits of the opposite sex to their own devices. Skittles apparently made his way into Smudge’s rabbit run ~ someone must have lent him a crowbar.
5) I can talk a good yarn about spinning yarn, but you’ll have no idea what it really looks like ~ especially if I use words like ‘delicious’ or ‘robust’ or ‘wimpy’ to describe it. How many ways can one describe the color of natural white wool?
6) I can’t post pictures of the House-in-Progress. And this is great fun right now. I can’t show you the well we’ve dug. Its main purpose at the moment is to serve as an echo chamber or to drop a rock to see how long it takes to hit water. The holes in the walls are becoming windows and doors. Oh, and, by the gods! I have walls with sheetrock! Walls, I tell you.
7) I can’t show you the dog we’ve adopted. Bodhi. Cute as a button. She’s black with white feet ~ isn’t she adorable? Right. Need a picture!
8) Dirk has no way to chronicle every living, mundane moment of our lives. What will I do now that he won’t have pictures of me scarfing down birthday cake? I’m usually caught with that ‘chipmunk cheek’ look or doing ‘see-food’ with frosting. Composition is something he largely ignores when photographing anyone. The kids are always pictured with the TV on and showing SpongeBob doing dumb things with Patrick. There’s always a fine shot of my backside at the sink or the stove. And then there’s the glaringly obvious lack of housecleaning I do around here by the inclusion of mini-piles of detritus, paperwork and dishes in the background. (Hmmm . . . maybe I can sell that idea to Sears or Walmart photographic departments. There’s the mottled blue background, the Spring Scene background, and now the Lackadaisical Home background complete with Dust Bunnies.)
9) Blogs are pointless ramblings without pictures.
10) I’m not posting as often as I’d like as a result of being visually impaired in the Blog World.

All I need is the planetary alignment of enough cash (there is some now, but the focus ~ pun intended ~ is on the house) and the mutual agreement to purchase the thing. Summon the Royal Astrologer! Oh . . . right. I’m neither royal nor do I possess an astrologer. Great. That means a new list outlining the reasons why I need an astrologer and why royalty might be a handy thing.

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